All Those Crazy Thoughts

that we used to have as kids or even now. Whats is the craziest thing you've thought of today? Did you act on it? Did you pay it much attention? Will you act on it?

See I've had this little thought floating around for LONG TIME. Then I buried it pretty deep, because of Joshua. But its started floating agian, pretty bad. In fact bad en0ugh that I'm finally acting on it. And... woo.. I cant believe I'm telling the whole internet, but I'm going to start modeling. Not full time walk the run walk way, but part time showing skin.

I think the female body is beautiful and why not show off whatcha got? I'll not be doing nude shots, or playboy like crap, but actual art work. Things I won't be embarressed of when I have children, things I can be proud of. I'm horribly excited and I'm also a bit nervous. I am going to adopt a new diet plan, and stick to it pretty stead fast. I may not be "fat" but I have weight that I can lose and muscles/areas that could use some toning. I want to be healthy, not just a skinny girl with a pretty face. If you don't have health, you really have nothing.


Lets see... yeah not a lot of other crazy thoughts going that warrant a mention.

I've had a pretty good day today. The weather has been suprisingly amazing. I can not tell you how thankful I am to be in this beautiful house, blessed with stability and a great housemate. I love her and her kids to death. Even though her little boy and I argue quite a bit. The knowlegde that I will come home to one place for at least a year is so comforting. In three months since I left Josh, I've moved at least4to6 times. And with having a whole life of moving AT LEAST once a year, this is exciting.

I get to decorate my room how I want. I get organize my clothes in my closet the way I want and take up all the shoe space I want. I'm feeling an honest to God sence of freedom at this moment. And I love it.

But the only things that is really bothering me, even more so than money(because I've got a few cards up my sleeve and will be getting paid soon), I'm scared to death I'm going to lose my best friend, my instate bro. I've been pushing him to start talking to others girls and when we went to a party friday, he started talking to one. That I know of. I love him to death and we've grown really close these past few months(hence the best friend part). And while I'm happy that he talking with a girl(s?), I'm worried. I have this luck of not having friends(especailly the ones I'm closest too) not sticking around. Ugh I don't know why I'm so worried, he's always said he won't date a girl if she isn't okay with his best friend being a girl and me. But words are words, we'll just have to wait and see the actions.

Okay okay en0ugh rambling! I hope everyone has a great night and had a great day!