Another THANKful post :)

(just a heads up, I wrote this last night. that statement will make more sense as you read on )

One of Millions I am sure.

But do not fret friends, I will add my usual ramblings.

I will though get the mundane out of the way.

I am thankful for:

my family.

my new (great) job.

my friends.

my best friend.

my new found confidence.
my God.

cellphones. They keep me in touch with my family that happen to not live in the same state as me.

I am truly thankful for so many things. Big and Small. By small I mean ven mechanical pencils. And shiny shoes..

Today has been awesome. Totally awesome. I had a great day at work. I am so ver thankful for my new found confidence. Usually I'm pretty shy and quiet the first few days at a new job but not here. Here I am me, right off the bat. Wel actually I am not quiet all me, I'm holding back on the sarcasm and smack-talk. ;) I am loving it though. I need to get a few things:

A huge stockpile of gel inserts.
Tape Measurer ,

Binder Pens,

Flats,

Shirts in certain colors,

Calculator...

And a watch! hahaha ugh! I love the thought of shopping but the action of shopping it's self is a pain. Especially when you shop alone.

I have a bunch of thankfulness for my best friend. Hmm where to start? He is amazing. He keeps me sain, always encorages me and hard on me when I need it. Not to mention he knows how to make me laugh.

And here is a little secret, I am thankful for all the guys in my life. Yes, they ARE all FRIENDS, several of whome I know would like more, but i am thank for them. They do offer me encouragement along with intellectual and meaningful conversations. Oh boy, well there are two oh boys here.

One:I almost sound like a tramp. "all the guys in my life" sheeze.

Two: Mom and I just got into a fight. She took a pain pill or two or whatever. And probably a glass of wine.

On a very honest and sober note I think I'm so honest on here because I don't think anyone actually reads this. But it helps me and I hope it may at some point help someone else.

(okay I'm skipping the rest of wht I wrote last night and am going to just talk about today. Sorry if this is confusing.)
I was completely planning on posting all of the above last night, but my moms laptop was acting up. The time here at my moms has been interesting. It has definitely stayed fun though. I handled my very first holiday all alone very well. :) Stayed positive the whole time and had a blast. My step sister didn't talk to me but I wasn't expecting much in that department. I've pretty much been watching football all day and I have never tweeted or been this internet active via phone in a long long time haha.

Mom and I fought last night about "our" wedding dress, My step dad actually stood up for me after slightly guilting be about the seperation. I LOVED seeing all of the family. Even had a great time with my PaPa!

Here are a few pictures!

A few more things I'm thankful for:

Football

Sweet Tator Casserole

Step Family

Laughter

and all of you :)

Have a great night and please be safe if you go out tomorrow!!

Amazing News

I was going to do a bit of a weekend recap, but then I realized it was only Saturday night. Sheesh lol

So I got the job at Ashley Furniture!! That was the amazing news I was holding out on you!! I went in the Tuesday before last and pretty well had the job right then, I only had to do my drug test and wait on my background check! And M the manager called me yesterday morning to tell me that they were waiting on my background check and that there and been a mix up with it. Then he called a few hours later and asked when I could start!! So I am going in early Monday to do paper work and start my first day!!

SOSOSOSOSO happy and it couldn't have come at a better time!! I pretty well lost my job at the Celtic this past wednesday. I'm okay with not working there, I was going to be putting my two weeks in after I heard from Ashley, but looks like God had other plans!

Not Gonna lie, I'm pretty distracted by my LSU game.


I just wanted you to know the big news. I'll fill ya in more later!

Have a great rest of the weekend!!

Annoyed

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Weekend ReCap

Isn't she so pretty!?! CC and I went to school together and never really hung out, we still can't figure out why not! We had a blast last night! Drag night is so much fun let me tell you. CC brought her(now!) boyfriend and one of his friends. Who is a good dancer and gave me a few dancing tips. CC and I were also the first girls that one of the Queens pulled on to the floor for the song "girls(rule the world)" by Beyonce.
SunDAY I helped with our yardsale, went for a jog(giving myself a migrane), and went shopping. I got some good things! Also got to try some homemade(first time ever for this person) Banana Bread, it was very good!
Saturday I had a two hour sushi lunch, it was pretty awesome. Then I went to work and you know the rest...
Friday I worked and then ended up going to a 21st birthday party, it was..fun.. Oh I also had my nails filled!

But I can't get the picture to load...hmmm

Pain and Ramblings

Let me start off by saying this will be a mostly sad post.

I was a hot mess last night. Lots of crying lots of pain, anger, frustration and stress. Lots. My dad called me while I was at work and told me that my Grama (yes I know it's spelt wrong but that's how I've spelt it since I was tiny.) has cancer. She is going to be having kimo and a lot of surgery. It hit me like a ton of bricks. I haven't seen her or my Grampa(who has congestive heart failure and is not doing well) in over two years.
And I haven't been the best grandaughter in the world. I love them more than they'll ever know, but because I sometimes feel like an outcast, which is all in my head I'm sure and a topic I may or may not cover in the future, I haven't tried anywhere near as hard as I should to stay in touch with them. Something that since the seperation/divorce has actually changed, my Grama and I are getting closer. So are my father and I.

But like I said, I haven't seen them in over two years. I have major financial stress, that is hightened by the fact that I want to go see them and I don't want to wait til Febuary like I was originally planny. I want to go now. I want to go in December and stay a while and help, even though my dad and aunt are staying there. I want to go learn about my grama and grampa and make as many memories as I can. There is still a lot I want to learn about and from them.

Last night I was having trouble breathing, I felt nausious, I had a horrible time controlling my tears and I wanted to hurt myself. I wanted to hurt myself so that I could control all of this emotional confusion. I did not though, so don't worry. I'm sure you're wondering why I took it so hard and I can only tell you that I have a lot of stress. A lot. But I am much better today. I came home, had a few beers, and took something to help me sleep. Didn't really sleep well, but at least I slept.Woke up, copied some recipies, ate, went for a jog(gave myself a migrane), and am now helping with the yardsale. I will soon be going shopping. YAY.

BFTAG was on a camping trip out of town, a few hours away actually, but he did call and we talked for about half an hour. Let me tell you, it helped a lot. So did all the people who were blowing up my phone and making me feel better.

Trust me this is not at all the post I was wanting to make, that post will probably be done tomorrow.

And those ramblings I mentioned are probably not going to happen. They are in my head but I seem to not be in a rambling mood.

bloatidge

There are a million and one other things I would truly prefer talking about, but I must get this out of the way and try to wrangle my posts in from the infamous ramblings I've been doing.

I feel horribly bloated. Distended belly, amazing muffin top and oh so sexy four pack of fat. :) All of which is mainly from the 160 oz (roughly) of water I drank yesterday and the pigging out I did in the week surrounding Halloween.

"Why drink so much water?", You may ask. Pull up a more comfy chair and let me tell you....

It all started on day when the little devil on my shoulder said, "hey, it's two days before halloween, why not live it up on the candy? Let that sweet tooth have some fun, you can always work out more." Yeah the little angel really didn't have much to say, she knew it was a losing battle. Then came some beer. Pretty good beer too. Then it actually was halloween and my place of employment supplied some yummy candy. Not just some but a whole bunch. So much that there is still a bunch left. Up until yesterday I have been munching on said candy.

I'm actually proud of myself I only had two pieces today. :)

But back to the story.

So Tuesday I decided I need to be much more hydrated. Seeing as I really don't drink enough water through out the day. Or enough of any liquids for that matter. One to two cups a day really ain't cuttin' it. There's been this glass water bottle at Starbucks calling my name for about six months and I finally gave in. Which I am very happy about. So I started drinking more water. And was super surprised at how thirsty I ended up being yesterday. Hence the 160oz of water.

I came home and after eating a bowl of LIFE cereal(maple and brown sugar flavor...one of my all time favorite cereals) I researched how to lose water weight. And I found some interesting things:
(you can do one or all or several of the following)
Drink 3cups of green tea a day
Drink 3cups of dandelion tea a day ( just go in your back yard pluck a few leaves, rinse them of course, boil 'em and wa-lah)
Drink 3cups of parsley tea(made with roughly 2tablespoons of parsley)
Take a garlic pill (as directed)
And/Or Drink black coffee... which is not something I want to do.

All of those along with regular exercise is smiled upon. And explains why I never felt that bloated when I was regularly drinking green tea... Also why most Asians stay so skinny...hmm... what other secrets do they have? lol! ( I really do love Asian food...)

Well I decided to go make me a cup of green tea, which turned into two cups and I'm now on my third :) . I forgot how much I love this stuff, it really is healthy for you. It helps with depression, infection, has antioxidants, rheumatoid arthritis... I looked some things up for you nay-sayers. Which further embedded the fact that I will be drinking this stuff more often. I will also be trying that parsley and dandelion tea. I love dandelions.

By the way don't give away to many of those little anti-bloatidge gems ;) hahaha

A Truly Great Ending

To a Great Rainy Day.


It is amazing where a positive attitude will get you! Today has been great, so I stick my tongue out to all you rainy day nay sayers. :p

For my todo list, I finished everything but folding my laundry. I did put some away though. There isn't much so I'm not upset or worried about it. It will be conquered in the morning. I DID get a new bank account, had my nails complimented twice, had a great work out, buy an awesome glass bottle from starbucks that I've been wanting and went bowling. I also have a pretty great surprise for you!!! But will not be able to disclose it until Friday or Saturday. But trust me it is good. :D


Bowling was tons of fun. Little Miss and Little Man along with BFTAG and myself all went. It was cute teaching and helping the kids(my housemates youngsters). Little Man kicked all our butts, it was pretty ridiculous. Kid has talent.

My water bottle has made me so happy. It's glass so you don't get that metalic or plastic taste and it doesn't leach into your water. It also has a purple plastic sleeve. YAY purple!!

Oh and the kids gave me a really cute quote:
Little Man:(a comercial came on for legos) "will you buy me those?"
Little Miss: "I can't drive."
Kids really do say the darnedest things :)

So far I am really liking my new bank, the debit card is a little weird and I'm not sure if I unlocked it or not so I may call tomorrow. (Tomorrow I will also be meeting with my advisor for school, another excitement!)


My work out consisted of 20minutes on one of the bikes at a level10. I was gettin' it too! (down south that pretty much means I was working hard haha). I definitely was sweaty and I enjoyed every minute of it. It would have been better had ESPN been playing an actual sport instead of what was going on with the PENN state coach and there hadn't been a creepy employee. I did a good job of ignoring him though :) Just cuz you work at a gym, don't mean you're hot stuff. Just sayin.

On a somewhat sour note an umbrella I got from work(some one left it behind and I'm pretty sure I know why now) that was really cute and colorful broke today. Thats why the previous owner left it. One good, well not even that strong of wind gust came and it flopped the other way. Then it did it again. And once I got my self in the car and the umbrella to follow it wouldn't flop back the right way....So I kinda broke it even more.... oh well I get to get a new one!!(say the last part in a sing songy way...it's so much better!)

Surpisingly I'm fighting off sleep! So I shall bid you good night! Sweet dreams!

Truly a Rainy Day Story

At least for those of us here in NWA.

But even though it is rainy, I managed to sleep good again and wake up in a really good mood. I've written myself a small todo list and even made a small change to the 101. I'll now be doing 10sit ups every morning! I am behind two days so I'll make that up today. It's something I'm actually excited to do.

Its almost a hot coco-good book-warm blanket kind of day, expecially with it raining as hard as it is. But I'm in the mood to go buy some rain boots(which I need to do anyways) and go play in it!

Yesterday was also a pretty good day. Minus the fact that my right hand middle finger nail was almost ripped off and I broke a bottle of hot sauce then cut my knee on a small peice. ER(my housemate) and I went furniture shopping! I didn't buy anything, but she bought a cute chef picture. I was greatly inspired by the last store we went to. I really love interior decor. Really love it. So I will be applying for a job at a furniture store and getting my foot in on the interior design. Not to mention I'm hoping to get a discount or two :)

on the furniture note though, my room is coming along well. I'm still going through a few ideas in my head, looking for furniture and drawing some pieces up(a friend is going to custom make me some). I will definitely make sure to post some pictures with the finished product.


Im really excited about today, so i'm going to go get started!! Anything really exciting happens I'll make sure to tell you!

The Walking Dead

Just sittin' here, watching the above show. With BFTAG. My usual buddy had to work. BFTAG is a pain n the butt more often than not, but he has a big screen to watch zombies on...and is reading over my shoulder....

You may have noticed, I updated my 101 in 1001!!! yay! August 3, 2014 is my end date. Be proud, I started working on number24. I made my bed this morning at looked beautiful. :)

You will not have to worry about pitty party posts, they will be few and far between.(as BFTAG laughs at me, jerk). I'm going to turning a new leaf and embracing a much more positive attitude that I've obviously lost. And I do apologize. This list is going to be much more helpful at keepin me positive and will also make your reading much more enjoyable. I am also excited to do a much needed picture post. I just need a laptop and my cord for the phone to be together at the same time.

I shot some hoops today! And actually made it in the..goal? a few times! It was fun. The past two days have had beautiful weather. I'm just really hoping tomorrow will be nice also. Having days go from nice to hot to cold gets annoying, especially when you don't listen to the weather. Not to mention the gorgeous colors that have enveloped the trees. I'll try to post pictures of that also.

It's hard to blog with someone reading over your shouder.


I know I've said this, but, I am really excited about this positive attitude and this new sence of freedom. I'm excited to be out with the old and in with the new. Very excited.

I hope everyone had a great weekend and that ya'll have an amazing week!

(Bythe way did any Arkansans or you OKs feel that earthwake? It scared me to death!)

Rough Drafts

I was going to title this "Life of An Adult", but I don't know. It doesn't really fit.
So I'll tell you a little secret: Most of the time I do rough drafts of my posts. Not all the time, but most of the time. :)

As much as I'v tried to not stress and posted about not stressing, it just won't stop. Yesterday it just felt like everything was caving in. Even though I was still pretty chipper, I was more so frustrated and like I said, it felt like everything was caving in.

As much of a people person that I am, and as much as I love working at a restaurant, it is just not for me. I am not going to bad and I am not going to trash talk. I'm just going to take action and better my own life.

With my stress levels and my depression I was about to go down the hill. A pretty big bad hill. (and yes I know I promised to be honest, but there are still things I will not yet talk about, or in some cases talk about at all. Some things need to stay private, alway remember that.) But mah BFTAG stopped me, he has kept me sane and grounded. And I am very thankful to him and apologetic that I have not been a better friend. But that is something I'm working on. i've let a lot of wrong from past people and past experiences really affect me lately. Almost to the point of changing my me. My who I am.

Uh, there are so many things right now that are just crushing. In on me. And this time of year is the cuddly time, and have someone with you. Someone to save you from your family dinners and be able to take you and go to their families. I will say I'm thankful that my housemate has the tradition of having Thanksgiving at her house for friends that have no where else to go. It will be a saving grace for me.

I have been a bottomless pit for food for the past two days. I don't know if it's stress, if it's my metabolism or what. But it drives me crazy, I've gone though bouts(not sure if I spelt that right) my whole life. I will eat eat eat eat and then i will practically be anorexic. Its annoying.

I know this post has bounced off several walls, but that is my brain pattern today. All over. There is so much going on and that i have to do that its just ugh. Again I am sorry that this has been a crazy and somewhat downer post. I promise I will have a very chipper post for you soon.

have a GREAT weekend.

The little things

I love the little things that brighten my day :)

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All Those Crazy Thoughts

that we used to have as kids or even now. Whats is the craziest thing you've thought of today? Did you act on it? Did you pay it much attention? Will you act on it?

See I've had this little thought floating around for LONG TIME. Then I buried it pretty deep, because of Joshua. But its started floating agian, pretty bad. In fact bad en0ugh that I'm finally acting on it. And... woo.. I cant believe I'm telling the whole internet, but I'm going to start modeling. Not full time walk the run walk way, but part time showing skin.

I think the female body is beautiful and why not show off whatcha got? I'll not be doing nude shots, or playboy like crap, but actual art work. Things I won't be embarressed of when I have children, things I can be proud of. I'm horribly excited and I'm also a bit nervous. I am going to adopt a new diet plan, and stick to it pretty stead fast. I may not be "fat" but I have weight that I can lose and muscles/areas that could use some toning. I want to be healthy, not just a skinny girl with a pretty face. If you don't have health, you really have nothing.


Lets see... yeah not a lot of other crazy thoughts going that warrant a mention.

I've had a pretty good day today. The weather has been suprisingly amazing. I can not tell you how thankful I am to be in this beautiful house, blessed with stability and a great housemate. I love her and her kids to death. Even though her little boy and I argue quite a bit. The knowlegde that I will come home to one place for at least a year is so comforting. In three months since I left Josh, I've moved at least4to6 times. And with having a whole life of moving AT LEAST once a year, this is exciting.

I get to decorate my room how I want. I get organize my clothes in my closet the way I want and take up all the shoe space I want. I'm feeling an honest to God sence of freedom at this moment. And I love it.

But the only things that is really bothering me, even more so than money(because I've got a few cards up my sleeve and will be getting paid soon), I'm scared to death I'm going to lose my best friend, my instate bro. I've been pushing him to start talking to others girls and when we went to a party friday, he started talking to one. That I know of. I love him to death and we've grown really close these past few months(hence the best friend part). And while I'm happy that he talking with a girl(s?), I'm worried. I have this luck of not having friends(especailly the ones I'm closest too) not sticking around. Ugh I don't know why I'm so worried, he's always said he won't date a girl if she isn't okay with his best friend being a girl and me. But words are words, we'll just have to wait and see the actions.

Okay okay en0ugh rambling! I hope everyone has a great night and had a great day!