Not Mommys Little Girl Anymore

I am no longer the little girl who would run for mommy(or daddy) whenever I scratch me knee or see a big spider. As badly as I may want to, I no longer do.

I am a big who is all on her own now. I don't need a man. Maybe for car troubles or furniture that is too heavy. But that's it. I can plunge my own toilets, cook my own meats(this is big because I HATE cooking meat), I kill spiders(after cursing them out for a few minutes), and I know how to shoot a gun. I may not yet be able to skin a buck, but I'll get there.

Life likes to throw lemons and punches and road blocks. But we all learn to make lemonaide, to take the punch and throw one back and we always learn the back roads. But we still can't learn to leave the stress or worry alone. Why is that? There is nothing we can do to change what is happening or what happened. We can, sometimes, change the "will" happen. We all grow and mature, some faster than others. Some in much different ways than others. But we are all human, we are flesh and blood.

I, me, this RainyDayStory girl, is flesh and blood. I have emotions, I have fears, I have dreams and goals. I have my mommy, even though we don't get along. I have my daddy, who I think we're getting close again. I have my family. And I have my friends. I am a big girl.

I have bills to pay, college to put myself through, and a life to live. I have a full plate and can't let it get to me. Like I've said before I don't like not go go going. I can't do one thing for long. When stress hits, I head for the sugar.

Yes, my life is easier compared to most and I have put myself in this position but for me that doesn't make it any easier.

This post is pretty well all over the place, I apologize, but my thoughts are pretty scattered. I almost know what I want to say, just the words are having trouble coming out.

Welcome to Halloween Weekend!

Where you will find ghouls, gobblyn, pirates and giant stuffed animals.

Along with a TON of fun.

ton of fun. (sorry I had to make sure you heard that part ;) )

Well yes I went to a fun halloween party last night. And it was freezing cold. I mean it was ridiculous. And I was really the only one cold. Especially mah fingers. I think it's because of the nails. I had to get them redone. They look amazing.

So my plan for all of halloween weekend was to dress up as the season "Autumn' BUT this week has been hectic. I just moved again. But this is the final and last time. Thank God. So my costume was not really complete so i'm finishing it today wearing it tonight and then doing more and wearing it agin monday. Last night though I was a flapper. :)


ugh time flies...gotta go! I hope everyone has a safe and fun weekend!!
(SAFE!)

I F***ing hate spiders.

With a passion.

A huge passion. Especially when they are in whatever building I'm staying at. Which has been GH's lately. And there have been quite a few creepy crawlies lately. Like tonight for example. I went to go to the bathroom and we all like to relax while we're peeing when all of a sudden enter from the left stage front comes a huge SPIDER. I stopped breathing for a second and then stomped on it. Finished peeing, kept my foot on the body, and tried to figure out what I was going to pick up it with. And then decided to stomp it again just in case.

I almsot threw up. It made a noise and I felt it through my freaking puma! WTF?!?!

See the other day there was a HUGE centepede. And then last night there was a spider..or was it the night before. I...can't...remember...omg! it was both nights!! I barely slept last night, and I hightly doubt I'm sleeping tonight.

I f***ing hate spiders. And I don't use the hate word lightly.

I hope everyone has a much better night than me! Sweet Dreams

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Insightful?

Not so much this time. I mean I was totally thinking about doing an insightfull post but I've done so much of them and i am in a really really bubbly mood. And sure it could go either way but eff the insightfull mood tonight.

I had my nails done today! They are actually really cute. I had them done by one of my moms close friends. Pictures soon!! They were done for my halloween costume, not quite what i was hoping for/wanting, but they are still really cute. My best guy friend has been amazing lately. He went with me to get my nails done even though it took WAY WAY longer than it was supposed to, he helped my friend ,ER, and I with a few things and has just been there emotionally for me. I had a pretty nifty(yes that's sarcasm) panic attack and he helped calm me down.

My new diet has been going pretty darn good! I'm so surprised at how well I've been able to curb my sweet tooth. Don't get me wrong all of these fruits have been a huge help. My goal to tone up before Halloween is sadly not as reached as I was hoping. I mean I can see some toning going in my legs which makes me really happy. I did download an fitness app. ... yeah I have been pretty lazy about keeping up with it. I mean it's really insightful on how many calories are in things and how many calories you burn. I guess it's helped because I really watch how much I eat. The whole typing everything in and finding the right the item got a little annoying and monontinious.

Oh goodness Oh goodness. I have completely forgotten almost everything I was thinking about saying. Ugh I was wired a little while ago and now I'm pretty sleepy. And Hungry.

Ahh yes, pictures. I will upload pictures for you as soon as I can! Let me tell you, I have quite the to do/to get list

Sweet dreams! hope Everyone has had a great weekend!

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What's In a Name?

Quite a lot if you look at it.

How many Ambers do you know that are quite a lot alike?

Or Chris'?

Or Ashley?

Then think about those you know with unusual names. They aren't like everyone else. Granted no two people are the same. But what about last names? Those can be either a burden or blessing. They can be a name of honor or a name of shame. We, on our own, can lift them up or tear them down.

But what about titles? Magazines, books, articles.... Blog posts?

They can be quirky, serious, completely off topic. But more often then not spot on. They can hint, make you keep going or they can make you want to read more.

I guess what I'm getting at is the fact that I am looking to change my blogs name. I am no longer a Bakers Bride. But what I am?

I am the daughter of a quirky father, who used to do engineering, and loves nature. A good mix of Italian and French. And a little Irish. My mother has a taste for alcohol, and crafts. With a little bit of pack-rat/hoarders syndrome. And a smidgen of Native American and horse thief in her blood.

Me? I'm a football, hunting get your hands dirty kind of girl. I'm a classy mix of ethnic background. I have a constancy of change and a love of adventure. I do enjoy "seeing the color in the black and white", so that can of course stay. But what about the top title?

A Baking Girl (I do enjoy baking)

A Custom Class (I really don't know where this came from but it sounds good. Maybe a class in learning about ones self and learning from your experiences. I don't know, I may like this one)

A Rainy Day Story (Hmm I like this as well)

I may just leave it with "Seeing Color in the Black and white"....

What are your thoughts??

(Yes this was an insightful post for the name of my blog. But please don't let that deter you from the interesting things that have now come to your mind.)

Deciding Your Future

Is NOT an easy task.

I absolutely love marine biology. And am very very interested in teaching, English class preferably. But now I'm really debating Interior Design. I've always thought about it, and it might be good for me.

I'm the kind of person that isn't good with consistancy. I've never really truly had it all my life. So I'm not used to it. I am constantly changing or wanting to change the things around me. Clothes, shoes, hair, make up, furniture arrangements, decor. I'm constantly on the move. Go go go. Even when I'm trying to relax I would rather be go go go-ing.

I've got a lot of research to do. For the Marine Biology and Interior Design.

I think Interior Design will be good for me because it will give me that change that I need on a some what consistant basis.

I actually think this post made my mind up for me. :)

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Me.

I may be strong but I'm very fragile. I stress easily and smile more than I feel like it. I"m not very picky but I know what I like and what I don't. I'll try ALMOST everything once and have a taste for adventure. I like to try new foods. My sweet tooth can over take me at times but I usually gorge on veggies soon after. Anything with a little spice is yummy. I do enjoy cooking, more so if I haven't had a long day. I have never talked to God as much as I should, and that applies even more so now. That is something I am greatly concerned about and working on.

I maybe underage but I do enjoy a beer or two. I never aim to get drunk but when/if I do, I realize my limitations. And stay in control of myself. I never let alcohol be my excuse and never let anything happen to LET alcohol be an excuse.

I love loud music. I love to dance. HipHop is great but country has it all. Classical helps me concentrate and think. And different country music(Irish, Japanese, ect.) makes me smile.

I think better with a PENCIL in my hand. Not a pen and not a keyboard.

I have anxiety problems and panic attacks. But I am getting better at controlling them and being a big girl.

I love football. LOVE. I am a sports girl. I love being active. I want to learn about Lacrosse and Rugby. Sometimes I get into a baseball game, but not often. I am a Saints fan. College wise I love the Hogs and LSU. Hockey is somewhat of an interest to me.

Fashion is fun. I enjoy I enjoy putting things together and even making some of my own clothes. I also LOVE shiny shoes. And I get really annoyed when designers do stupid things.

I am walking away from a man who loves me unconditionally because I know he deserves better. Because I do not know that I can love. Let alone love as he does. I easily forgive others but have a hard time forgiving myself. He is amazing. And will one day find someone who has his convictions and can treat him exactly how he deserves.

I have a hard time balancing myself. I give myself almost entirely to the things that are important to me. My goal is to be better balanced in all aspects of my life.

I am a night all and a day lover. I see through the lens of a camera and can turn a dumpsite into a beautiful photograph. But don't ask me to draw anything more than a tree or flower.

These are a few things that I have learned (and have known) about myself lately.

Just a small few.

Surprise and Gratitude

Joshua and I met up last night. And it went really well.

I can not tell you how grateful I am about how calm, civil and mature he is being. Obviously he doesn't WANT this to happen but he is being very mature. In fact, we are (mainly me) are getting along so much better. He even offered to let me stay in one of the extra rooms. I told him it probably wouldn't work, he wouldn't like my friends over and me always gone. But after a little I told him we would talk. It would save me a lot in gas, but yea...We'll see.

He is going to keep the house, I'm going to keep the car. I"m going to take just a few dishes, not a lot and I mean eff. this room mate thing is throwing me off.

Okay look my phone has throughly pissed me off today and it's hard to concentrate on everything else. But things with Joshua are great right now. Platonically.

I hope everyone has a great weekend!!

Wednesday Short Story!

Lets see this is almost a double short story seeing as I forgot to do last weeks!!

• Finally figured out what I want to be for halloween! It's going to be partially handmade!
• I'm applying for some 9-5 jobs..or 9-4/8-4 haha mainly a monday through friday job!
• I'm changing up my diet. My goal is to slim down, losing hopefully ten pounds, before halloween
• I'm still working on my new 101 in 1001
• I have made some nifty new friends
• I'm pretty popular on pinterest, love it lol
• Gina will be home soon
• I'm switching banks (It'll make my life easier)
• I haven't had a chance to go hunting. I hate it!
• So proud of LSU and the HOGS for winning!!! yay!!
• My 49ers, my Lions AND my Saints won!!
• This seasons Biggest Loser is not that great. :/
• I had my done Saturday, LOVE IT.
• Saw the Cox' at Calins birthday party!
• The breakdown I had last week may not have been long enough or enough at all. I feel like there is more that I need to get rid of
• I haven't worked out as much as I wanted...I throughly enjoy killing my self in the gym

One Week

I can't believe it's been one whole week since I posted. I completely forgot about my Wednesday short story. oops!

I've been house sitting at Gina's with Nicole and have been having a blast. I'm so glad she has too, out in California! All three of my jobs are going well. I may have another job! If it works out then hopefully it'll drop me down to two jobs. Or possibly stay at three. Ugh, we'll see. I'm tired of working so much. I fell asleep at about..12ish 1230ish. I woke up at 830, went to by a charger and was back to sleep just before 10, didn't wake up again until just after eleven. Got out of bed at...actually got out of bed about 12.

And to top it all off, I'm kinda sleepy again.

When I said I go go go I wasn't kidding. When I'm not doing something it drives me crazy. But when i want to get my rest, I better freaking get it. I hate being unable to rest or sleep and being constantly interrupted. After I get my rest I'll be good and ready to go go go again.

I have an appointment to meet with an NWACC adviser next week and I am really excited.

That's really all I've got right now ha ha